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sargon

sargon\s avatar

Approval Rating: 74.90%
Sentences: 17
Joined: May 1, 2008

Sentences

Poster for Shi mian mai fu (House of Flying Daggers)

Shi mian mai fu (House of Flying Daggers)
In today's real estate market do you really want people thinking that your house is replete with random flying mini-swords?

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Poster for The Number 23

The Number 23
The agents and representation for the number 23 was going to sue over its depiction in this movie, but then decided that any publicity is good publicity.

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Poster for Fast Times at Ridgemont High

Fast Times at Ridgemont High
If you have ever wondered why Sean Penn is so insanely serious about everything, this movie will explain his twenty year personal catharsis.

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Poster for Havoc

Havoc
Dear Diary: I am bored being a princess and I wish for just one second Julie Andrews would turn her head so I could go hang with some Latino gang-bangers.

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Poster for Loverboy

Loverboy
For those poor Grey's Anatomy fans who are sad about a summer full of re-runs, feel free to enjoy this movie which is essentially the same as the show (random Patrick Dempsey sex scenes) but without the distracting medical jargon.

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Poster for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
At this point, if Disney just pumped out a lot of merchandise for Pirates of the Caribbean IV and never made an actual movie, would anyone notice? (read in a snarky tone to deciper rhetorical answer)

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Poster for Babel

Babel
I stand firm on my argument that this was really six mini-films they ran out of money with, that some producer spliced together and called 'art'.

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Poster for Say Anything

Say Anything
I cannot fully review this movie due to a pending lawsuit over how trying to use a trench coat and a boom box to regain the affections of a woman actually retarded my social IQ by about a decade.

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Poster for No Country For Old Men

No Country For Old Men
When Javier Bardem showed that an airbolt gun has uses beyond slaughtering cattle, the airbolt gun industry cheered and the locksmith industry gasped in horror.

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Poster for Transformers

Transformers
My bet in the online pool for which sequel will finally star Omega Supreme or the Constructibots is Transformers V: Harbingers of the Jeweled Prism of Ultimate Death.

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